How do I find the right decision maker in the sales process?

1.A job title that is relevant to the area that your offering addresses.
2.A position on the org chart that is relevant to the area your offering addresses.
3.A history of being a successful leader within the organization, implementing similar projects.
4.A reputation among other executives in the firm as a genuine contributor to the firm.
5.A reputation for being closely bound to others in the organization “by mutual advantage.”
6.Sufficient influence to control company events and activities and to alter the firm’s status quo.

The individual who has all those characteristics is the REAL decision-maker for your offering. This is the person whom you must contact, cultivate and work with to make sure that your offering actually gets purchased.

What distinguishes the best sales people from the rest?

how they convey ideas in a way that inspire others to think and feel different, as well as their ability to listen and through listening, create a real connection. I found this in every case: the distinguishing factor is really the way the very few send out messages and the way they take in messages. In the case of sales professionals, i know of so many highly-successful ones who had no process at all, and didn’t follow ANY sales methodology. But they earn the business because they were able to form an emotional connection with their buyer, and could inspire actions.

http://www.bnet.com/blog/salesmachine/ben-zoldan-the-power-of-listening/13215?promo=808&tag=nl.e808

How do I get to the sales decision maker?

Get more patient. As long as you’ve got a dialog going, you’re still in the sales cycle. Relax, take a deep breath, and revise your forecast to reflect the delay.
Get up-front commitment. During the demonstration, get the stakeholder to make an appointment (or send an email requesting one) with the decision-maker while you are online with the stakeholder.
Close the loop. When you email the thank-you and next steps to the stakeholder, copy the decision-maker, so that the decision-maker knows that the stakeholder is committed.
Send a warning email. Sure you might get a deferral, but if you’re going to get one on the email, you’re going to get one on the phone call anyways. Best to know sooner than later,
Create a sense of urgency. If you have some kind of discount program, make the discount contingent on a response within a certain timeframe.
Try to call higher. You say that it’s nigh impossible to get to the decision-maker. Well, maybe, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t try. Find out where the decision-maker network and make contacts.