How do I refuse a poor idea effectively?

1. listen. Don’t argue, disagree or interrupt. Think judo not boxing, use momentum against them. Encourage them to complete their explanation of their daft idea. They want to be heard and respected. If you argue too soon you will be met with “You don’t understand…let me explain” and you are into a win/lose time wasting argument.

2. The nice save. Start by praising the one element of the idea which is good. Do you tell a new mother that their baby is the ugliest the world has ever seen? A colleague’s idea is their baby: don’t insult it. Get the colleague emotionally on board by offering hope.

3. Find common cause. Go into praise overdrive. Thank your colleague for having the sense, courage and insight to tackle whatever issue they are trying to tackle. Show why the issue is so important: start to focus discussion on the desired outcome, not on the detail of their idea.

4. Empathise. Indicate that you had been thinking about the same thing, but struggling with it. You could find no way round three big problems, which just happen to be the three fatal flaws with the idea your colleague has suggested.

5. Work together to solve the problem. By now you should have refocused discussion away from their idea (which they will not want to change) to your problem (which they will be keen to show they can solve). The new solution should now provide a very agreeable alternative to the mad proposal which you first encountered. And, your colleague will think that is is all their own idea. No one argues with their own idea. In reality, you have won the argument and won a friend. Job done.